My Heart

I can't believe that three and a half months have slipped on by (or 14 weeks for those that are counting weeks). I have meant to sit down and blog for probably a month now but just as the physical sickness started to let up a lot of heart issues have come to the surface. Had I wrote this blog a month ago I likely would have walked you through how sick I was but this past month or so has been eye and heart opening for me. I listened to a message by Kris and Kathy Vallotton entitled "The Marrying Kind" (definitely check it out). After listening to Kris share story after story about Kathy's gracious reactions to situations that most people would flip out or point blame in, I was humbled. I repented to God for being a complainer and decided that although yes it had been hard being so sick, that I had so many things to be thankful for....that is what I choose to focus my energy and heart on.

God used His people to be serving hands and hearts (prayers, bringing us stuff, dinners, helping with Zemirah), to encourage my sweet husband week after week (and help him with Zemirah when they were out and about), He used two sisters to remind me how strong He is in me (channeling my inner Milly and Mama Oak). Speaking of Mama Oak, when Phil and I picked the name "Acorn" we thought it was cute but random but alas God is in EVERYTHING. One little Acorn can grow a huge and strong Oak Tree (which I wasn't even aware of until I asked my husband what my friend meant when she called me "Mama Oak"-I must have missed that chapter in school). It brought to mind Isaiah 61:1-3 that truly is my prayer that I would be planted by the Lord and have deep roots in Him. Being sick gave me a picture of my true condition, that I depend on myself a lot more than I depend on Him. Oh Jesus change me! Other things happened during that time...a few relationships were really solidified. I have to mention in here someone by name (though it may make her feel awkward) Sherry you are one of the most, if not the most giving person I have ever met. Our close friendship/sistership is one of the best things that was birthed during that time. I love you. Thanks to my sweet Zemirah for all the kisses, for holding my hair as I puked (all on her own), and for being a tangible reminder of God's faithfulness and reminding me that it's all worth it. Mama loves you. And once again my husband amazed me beyond words. He was Jesus in the flesh to me, he took on almost all responsibility and through pure exhaustion didn't stop pouring out (truly Jesus' strength filled him). Thank you to each and every one of you, words fail to describe my appreciation and love for you. :)

Pregnancy updates:

I am 20 weeks, 2 days today
I am measuring right on (so is the babe)
My hips are already starting to loosen up
I have gained 6lbs (but had lost 25, so technically still down 19lbs)
I wake up to pee at night (though most times I turn over hoping I can hold it)
I crave Sweet Tea (just ask Phil and Sherry...they know haha)
I can't eat spaghetti sauce or salad in any form
I ordered a pregnancy pillow (I am super excited about it, it was my valentine's gift from Phil)
I am learning that a second pregnancy is different than a first pregnancy (especially in our culture) but that it's ok. Like a dear sister said "It's a double blessing"
I can't believe I only have 20 weeks left with just Zem, will enjoy every minute

Peace to your homes,
Mama B.