Doula Training (Part 3) Due Date/Care Provider

So if you haven't heard yet, I'm pregnant. After looking at my past two charts and talking to my Natural Family Planning teacher, we figured out that my due date is July 3, 2011. I'm currently reading Pregnancy, Childbirth, and The Newborn by Penny Simkin (which I would recommend to every pregnant Mama/Daddy). Penny talks about the most accurate way to find your due date, she stated that if you know your date of conception add 266 days for the most accurate due date. My date of conception was October 10th. So October 10th+266 days=July 3, 2011. It was so cool to see that the NFP date and the date from the book lined up perfectly. So yes, we're going to be having a little firecracker baby. Phil joked last night about what if I went into labor at the Fireworks. That would be fun...or not. ha

So now is the time where we have to decide what care provider to go with. After attending my Doula Conference this weekend I definitely know where I stand. One, if not the most, useful thing that I learned this weekend was something called the "Models of Childbirth" by Amy L. Gilliland. In the model there are two extremes: Medical Model or Technocratic Model of Childbirth and the Woman-Centered Model or Holistic Model of Childbirth. There are statements on both sides and you decide which statement you either totally agreed with or leaned more towards. An example it this: "Body is a machine. Body works mechanically with a rhythm similar to other bodies. The same time frame can be applied to all bodies" the other statement was "Body represents the whole of self of a woman her emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical selves are reflected. Body works to its own individual rhythm, it may be similar to other women's bodies, all women are individuals." After answering the questions you find out where you end up on the scale. As you go to choose a care provider you'd keep your preferences and where you landed on the scale in mind. Lets say someone who is earthy-birthy decides to go with a doctor who is more medically focused. The space between where the woman falls on the scale and where the doctor falls on the scale is the margin for conflict (the larger the space, the larger the chance of conflict). When choosing a doctor or midwife the closer they are to your preferences the better. It comes down to knowing what hopes you have for your birth and then moving forward in that. If you've already chosen a doctor but they don't support your preferences it's ok to switch (one woman in a video this past weekend switched doctors 10 days before her due date) and most of all you are free to ask questions and get answers. It's also your choice whether to go with so and so doctor because your friend Betty suggested her or him. But keep in mind you are not Betty and your desires may be different than hers. Find out what is important to you and go for it. If you would like me to take you through the Models of Childbirth to find out where you land on the scale, or if have any questions about preferences please feel free to facebook message me: Melinda Jean Britton. That all being said I know there are times when ones choices are very limited by their health care provider, or because of health reasons one must go with an OB.

My first birth I went through the OBGYN Associates in Marquette. The Doctors were really wonderful and took such great care of me. The Doctor that delivered my sweet Zemirah was wonderful and witty. He even brought us spritzers after her birth and encouraged me wonderfully. My birth was beautiful and no interventions were needed during labor or birth. Looking back there was a large area for potential conflict but because of how my birth went there wasn't any (which was completely the grace of God). Overall I would recommend that practice in you are looking to have a more medical birth or because of health reasons must go with an OB. I was treated with kindness every time I was there.

Since my first birth (though it was better than I could have ever hoped for) a lot of my ideas have shifted and I'm definitely wanting to see just one doctor or midwife. This was confirmed when I figured out where I fall on the scale. I had Phil figure out where he landed on it and we were completely in line with everything! That made my heart really happy. In my Pregnancy book, Penny Simkin says that where you want to have your baby often helps to narrow down which care provider you should seek out. Phil and I have a lot of praying to do. It's at this time that I wish Marquette had a Birthing Center. Phil and I were talking last night about how to get a birthing center up here. We came to the conclusion that we have no idea, so if anyone has any thoughts please let me know. I feel very empowered to make an educated decision and it's now waiting on God's leading on the setting/care provider. I'm excited for my birth already!

Peace to your home,

Mama B.

Doula Training (Part 2) Our instructor told us this might happen...

At my doula training I watched so many wonderful birth videos. The women were heroic, beautiful, and when the baby was born...well there are no words to describe. Our instructor told us all "you will probably leave this weekend wanting another baby..." Not only was she right but to my surprise I was already PREGNANT! Yes, it's true! I have so much peace and joy it's overwhelming (in a good way). So I know you'll want to know the story so here it goes:

Phil and I have been doing Natural Family Planning for a few months now. My charts, to put it lightly, are about the complete opposite of the 'ideal' chart. My normal temperatures are from about 96.8-97.9. In the past few weeks they have ranged anywhere from 97.5 up to 98.4. A couple weeks ago I took a test like this: Pregnancy Test it had a VERY faint second line. So my wonderful man went out and bought me one of these: Digital Test  It read "Not Pregnant" which made me feel confused about my temperatures but I accepted it and told God "I trust Your timing." See God has walked me through some good and stretching stuff these past couple months. I came to the place of peace awhile before finding out I was pregnant today. Not the whole "fake it" peace that one can put on around others but a deep peace that I knew more babies were coming and even if they didn't come I knew that He was enough. I feel like there are deeper and deeper layers of knowing that. So yes, I felt peace about the timing and full of joyful anticipation.

So this weekend at the doula training I was having some back pain. I kept shifting from side to side thinking "this is weird...." Then I thought well I'm rarely on my butt this much so maybe it's from that. Little did I know that God had planned all of this in His perfect way. So we got home, spent yesterday hanging out, Phil went hunting in the evening and after check the weather report for the morning he planned on staying home due to storms and 50mph winds. I prayed God would change the weather but alas He had even better plans!

I woke up at 7am this morning (10/26) to take my temperature...98.4....98.4? We slept for a couple more hours and then got up. I decided to take a pregnancy test starting with the non-digital one, faint second line (though clearer that the one from a couple weeks before). I showed Phil (who was in the middle of a diaper change) and we agreed I should take the digital one. So I opened it, and held it in the cup for 5 seconds. Phil and Zem walked in, we were all making faces in the mirror. The test normally takes awhile so I was still playing with Zem and all the sudden Phil said something with joy (he had already looked down) and sure enough "pregnant" had come onto the screen. Such joy filled my heart. I cried I was so excited. We laughed, hugged, cried, and told Zemirah that she was a big sister. We got Zem a snack then put on worship music and prayed and thanked the Lord. There was such peace in our hearts. It was such a beautifully familiar feeling, but different too.

I love digital tests...pretty straight forward eh?

This is tradition...notice the 'round 2'

The beautiful big sister and Mama

Had to add this one too....so much joy!

Big brother in heaven

I don't even ask....it's tradition

My husband is good lookin'

Daddy and Mama (x2)

Trying to get Zem to look at the camera...

The Britton's 4

We went to Care Clinic to confirm the pregnancy (which worked out perfectly with Phil already being off work). We went in and it all felt so exciting. Our little beauty ate some of her animal crackers and kept Daddy busy by exploring the whole first floor. Mama headed off to pee in a cup. The nurse came back and told us that indeed we are pregnant! (Side note: I will sometimes say "I" and other times "we" truly my husband did contribute to this little bundle of wonder and he goes through all of the pregnancy/labor/birth/raising etc. with me...so yes, I or we is what it shall be). After the results we went to the Family Resource Closet to get our new miracle a blanket. We decided on this one:

Mama and our little acorn's blanket (Daddy decided on the name acorn)

For all of you with the other questions:

I would guess that I'm 4/5 weeks along but we're not totally sure yet. There were large gaps between my periods. I'd guess the baby would be due late June/early July. My first ultrasound at the Care Clinic is scheduled for Dec 1st.

We aren't sure if we'll find out the sex of our little acorn (leaning towards no) but more importantly, we are at peace with the sex. Babe is a blessing from God that He has planned to give to us since before the beginning of time. We are just thrilled to be pregnant!

Prayer Requests: Please pray for health for baby and Mama, wisdom in picking the care person/setting of the birth, prayer for our living situation (we're hoping to get something larger) so basically to buy or to keep renting, and most of all tell Him how wonderful He is!



Peace to your home,
Mama B.

Doula Weekend (Part 1)

As I begin to type this I can't honestly say how many parts there will be. I feel grateful and full after this weekend. I am full of knowledge, truth and love about being a doula. A quote that one of the instructors kept saying over and over again this weekend is that being a doula is "heart work." This weekend was a lot of heart work but I feel like the puzzle pieces have come together and what joy and peace I have. Though I'm bursting at the seams to empower you by sharing all the information I learned, I have to first start this by going back to just before Christmas 2009.

A month or so before Christmas my husband Phil had asked me if there was anything that I really wanted him to get me. I couldn't think of anything so it left him to find something on his own. I feel really loved when I receive gifts and with knowing that Phil really pondered what he should get me. So cue Christmas Day. I was sitting on the rocker at my mom's place with Zemirah on my lap trying to open presents and I get to the gifts from my man. As I opened them up I saw two books The Birth Partner and The Doula Book. I smiled for the photo but later my heart hurt.

You see I had talked to Phil about being a doula and had been to DONA's website a handful of times before...but I didn't believe I could do it. When would I have time to read? Would I ever know enough to actually help a woman through labor and birth? What if no one ever asked me to be their Doula?....(looking back I realize how many lies I was believing..but on with the story) You see Phil had seen the passion and wonder in my eyes and my heart pour forth when I talked about helping women and their partners through labor and delivery. He believed in me, he knew that God was calling me to it. So for months my books sat right next to the computer, I looked at them everyday and read them when I could when I felt like it. I mentioned to a couple friends that I was studying to be a doula and one of my friends asked me to be at her birth. After she asked I realized 'oh crap' I need to get going on my reading. I started reading a ton and the more I read, the more I realized just how much I longed to be a doula. Though that friend ended up choosing to just have her husband with her (which is totally cool- again a doula is all about supporting the mother's desires) I really have to thank her. Had it not been for her giving me the possibility, I wouldn't have dove in. So I read and read and guess what? Along came another friend who asked me to be their doula. It was the first time I had experienced birth from that side of the bed (my daughter was technically my first birth-I'll tell that story later). Being a doula for that birth changed.my.life. I knew I had found my calling. This is Samuel and I (I asked permission to share this):

Right after his birth I knew that I wanted to attend a conference and I kept going back and forth about when. Maybe I should go next summer to Ann Arbor so that we could stay with my mom? Maybe I should go now....back and forth it went. I told Phil I didn't know if I should go yet especially with finances being a little crunched (which later God ended up taking care of in one of the most gracious and loving ways), he said "I think we should go...yes, let's go" If anyone knows my husband, he is the most giving man I've ever met. If we eat out, he lets me choose. If I want to buy Zemirah maybe one too many puzzles because their on sale (that totally didn't happen today), he normally says ok. It's not that he's a push over or I'm a miss bossy pants but I use those examples to say that when Phil says "let's go" well I know he means it and we're going (I love that about him). So I sent in the money, got the pretest sent in, read everything but one chapter in Penny Simkin's book (by the way..she is the mother doula, love her!), found a place to stay for free thanks to friend, and well this past weekend we went.


The conference was wonderful. At the end of the day on Sunday we broke into groups. 5 women went with each instructor (there were three instructors). I ended up being in the main woman's group. As the five of us girls sat down to get ready to be her doula, she said to us "I picked the groups, and chose you to be in my group." I about cried, and again I was humbled. As she said that it reminded me of how much Phil believed in me. As we stood around at the end and did a fun little yarn activity. We each said what we felt we could bring to the labor room and what we were taking from the weekend. As I stood next to this woman she said to us all, "what I take from this weekend is I'm passing the torch to you women..." It touched my heart deeply. As the yarn was thrown to me, I kept going back and forth about what I wanted to say. When the words came out (I was fighting tears) I said "I'm going to bring belief into the labor room, belief in women, their bodies, and the way God created them. What I'm going to take (picturing Phil's face) is courage, courage to follow my dreams and believing in myself just like my husband did, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be at this conference..." 


We wrapped up and I walked out to the van. Phil and Zemirah had actually been waiting for me inside, so I turned around and I heard the loudest little joyful squeal. My little girl was running towards me, giggling all the way, she even dropped her rock and leaf (which she had been holding onto for a half an hour according to Daddy). My husband had the biggest smile on his face and told me that he was so proud of me. I got into the van and on the seat was a card. He told me how proud of me he is in the card and even wrote a message from Zemirah too. I told him how thankful I was and he asked me to tell him all about my conference. I poured out my heart on the drive home and he listened intently. It has been such a beautiful journey so far and I am excited for what is to come.

My name, Melinda, actually means grateful and for the longest time I have believed the lie that I'm not a grateful person...but truly I am grateful, with such a God as the one we have, a husband that supports my dreams, a daughter who has such beauty that I've never seen before, and with being blessed to have such a wonderful calling as a doula-my heart is full. Pouring over the top and not going to stop full.

Phil- I love you, you are my best friend. Thank you for supporting me and leading me even when I don't think I can do it. You see me like Jesus does, and for that there are no words to thank you enough.

Peace to your home,
Mama B.

 Here I am with my certificate:

Bloggin' it up/Doula Training

Just a quick note....I have started this blog to document my journey in being a woman, a wife, a mother and soon to be Doula! I will share my personal stories along the way (and others birth stories with permission) and the knowledge that I have found. I've been desiring to help women for a long time now, and most recently after receiving an email from a friend saying that I am her "go to woman" when it comes to all things baby...I figured why not. I'm on a journey and if you are reading this...welcome to what will be an unpredictable yet vulnerably real blog.

Exciting News: This coming weekend I'm going to be attending an official Doula training through DONA. After experiencing my first birth as a Doula in training I knew that my heart had found its calling. Not long before witnessing my first birth I had remembered longing to be a Pediatrician and to deliver babies when I was in high school. Granted my life has been through many valleys and mountaintops since then, it's so amazing to truly see my hearts desires come to pass. As I sit here in a messy house, with packing to do for our trip to my conference, cloth diapers to wash (the list could go on), I think it's a picture of how this blog will be...sometimes neat and tidy and other days a mess but a beautiful mess in any case.

Peace to your home,
Mama B.