mama b's blog

A month ago I woke up, sat straight up, and the first thing I heard was "Within twenty-four hours you will have a baby." Now the voice wasn't audible and it was more in my thoughts, though it wasn't in my voice. I had never heard something like that before but my mind quickly went to Zemirah, who was in her bedroom chatting away. Throughout the morning I thought of what I heard but on account of not wanting to sound crazy decided to not say a peep to anyone. Mostly it was me that felt like I had somehow made it up. I mean at 39 weeks pregnant (and thinking I had at least 2 weeks to go) who wouldn't create that thought in their mind? Zem and I went on with our morning. I kept having the thought "this could be my last day with just her..." but then again I had convinced myself I was having a girl and she would come in mid-July. Though I hadn't mentioned anything to Phil he had texted me around 10:30am telling me that he was excited for the baby and that he had downloaded a contraction timer for his iphone. Little did we know that we would be using it very soon.

At 11:57am I posted on my Facebook "we've got a low pressure system that has rolled in and I'm not talking about the weather..." At the time it was more of a joke and though I was having pressure I had highly doubted it was the real deal. I felt like I probably just needed to go potty and so I started chugging water. I also took some time to take a few pregnancy photos, I was definitely not thinking they would be the last ones. These were taken at 12:28pm, about a half an hour after my Facebook post.

My belly button looked like it was smiling

The main memory I have from during the day (early labor) was when Zemirah and I started to head upstairs. She had already started climbing the stairs and I went to get out of the desk chair and definitely froze half way up. Not liking to go through contractions on my own, I quickly said "Hey Zemirah, come see Mama...." She came over and I smiled at her through the pain and then we headed upstairs. At this point my contractions were spaced far apart.

At 4:04pm I texted Phil "Definitely having contractions...." He told me to keep him posted and suggested that I start timing them. At 4:47pm Phil asked if I was having more contractions, I told him yes that I had just had one that lasted about 30 seconds. I also told him that I started to write a note to send with Lola (for Zemirah). I had planned on making a triple batch of chili the next day for freezer meals so I reminded him to grab the crock pot from our dear friends the Tobin's. I had also texted him letting him know that the diapers arrived. His mum had ordered us some Seventh Generation diapers and their arrival was the final thing we were waiting on.

Phil got home around 5:40pm. He brought Doncker's to eat, club sandwiches and chocolate malts. If you haven't had their club seriously go get one. I ate mine in like 2 minutes and asked Phil if he was going to eat his (he replied yes). He actually only ended up eating half of his because his adrenaline (excitement) was going. He could definitely tell that I was in labor, but how long we had to go neither of us knew. I felt a major urge to pick up the house, and once everything was in its place we decided to go on a family walk. We were hoping it would decrease the time between my contractions (hello gravity).

Right before the walk we had called Sandy, our Midwife, to let her know what was going on. She said that I could be in early labor but to go on our walk and to call her back to let her know how it went. There are a few things that stand out from the walk. Having a contraction in front of our neighbors driveway while he waited to turn in (Phil said the guy had quite the look while he waited), meeting our neighbor (who I actually knew) and chatting with her while in labor. Most of all I remember the reality starting to sink in that this was very likely going to be the last walk with just the three of us. Oh and I remember Zemirah's joy and giggling, that girl loves being outside and going for walks like none I've known.

Having a contraction right before our walk

Walking with my love

My beautiful Zemirah and I on our last walk as a family of three

When we got home I didn't have another contraction for forty minutes. Up to that point they had been about fifteen or twenty minutes apart. I got really confused and decided to give Sandy another call. She said to keep on timing my contractions and to keep her updated. A little while later I started to have more contractions, though they were getting longer, the time between was still all over the place. Phil started to pack a bag for Zemirah, just incase she would be heading to Papa and Lola's. For weeks she had been so excited to go to “PapaLoooooola's” and to be a “Big Sisssssaarrr!” So Phil packed and when I had a contraction he would come in and do counterpressure and encourage me. It was so wonderful having my precious girl at home during this time. She encouraged me and kept saying “I helpa Mama, Jesus helpa Mama...” She wasn't afraid at all and even started laying on the floor with me as I found my way to get through labor (which was counterpressure, curling my toes and doing a climbing motion with my feet). Most of all what got me through was looking at her beautiful face and knowing that just as every contraction had been worth it with her, it was currently worth it with Acorn.

Chilling on the couch after our walk

Deep Breaths

"I helpa Mama"

Love my girl

Zemirah joined me on the floor

Best little labor coach ever!

We called Sandy at around 9:15pm to tell her that we were going to put Zem to bed and go get into bed ourselves. Though the contractions had been coming they were still pretty spread out and I felt like I needed to rest. While on the phone with Sandy I got hit with the mother of all contractions (it was totally God, because Sandy needed two and a half hours to get here). I put the phone down and Sandy could hear me breathing and moaning through it. As soon as I got back on the phone, she said “I am on my way!”

We called Lola to come get Zemirah. She and Liz showed up at around 10:00pm. They stayed for around a half hour. Phil was getting the birth pool blown up and the dresser cleared off for the birthing kit. He would come in when I had a contraction and loved on me. Liz also did some counterpressure on my back, mostly it was just so nice to have the company. Lola read some 'Finding Nemo' to Zem and we just chatted. The time between contractions was still sporadic up to that point. Looking back a pivotal moment happened right before Mama Lisa (Lola) and Liz left. Mama Lisa spoke words of life and freedom into my heart. Not even knowing then but seeing now I needed to hear it from a Mama figure, that I could do it and basically be given a Jesus loving pep talk. It was the last string to be snipped to put me into full freedom and full on labor. As they left I teared up while looking at Zemirah, she looked bigger already.

Hanging with Liz, Lola, and Zem

At 10:45pm I went in to pee and sure enough I had some bloody show. I called a few people to let them know I was in labor and to be praying. At 11:07pm I sent out a text to my sisters in Christ that said “In labor please be praying :)” I remember labor getting pretty intense at that point. For the next hour I laid on my side on the couch and Phil laid on the other couch. We listened to my labor cd, and I took refuge in the song “Your Presence” by Jenn Johnson. I think we had it on repeat. At one point I asked Phil if he was ready to deliver the baby if need be. He responded “I'm as ready as I'm gonna be...” I kept saying “I hope Sandy gets here on time” and Phil kept responding “She will...” He thought we still had a little bit to go since my labor with Zemirah had been intense for a few hours. Throughout that hour we rested in God's presence and prayed that Sandy would arrive in time.

At around 11:30pm we texted Liz asking her to come back at around 12-1215am. At around 11:45pm we talked to Sandy she was still about thirty minutes away. She asked Phil to get a few things prepped for the birth (herbal bath etc.). I asked if I could get in the bath tub and she said that would be fine. So off to the tub I went. My contractions were getting pretty intense (hello curling my toes) and I ended up puking at about 12:10am. I told Phil “Honey, I'm in transition.” Even in the moment it reminded me so much of Zemirah's birth. At about 12:15am Liz got there. She started to take photos of me in the bath tub. At one point I asked her to just come be with me. I had been leaning back in the bath tub and had her pull me forward. Instant urge to push. About that time Phil came in and happily told us “Sandy's here!” I told him to tell her that I needed to be checked because I was having the urge to push. Even in the midst of all of the intensity there was such peace and joy that rested here.

Sandy came in and had a huge smile on her face. She set up a few things and then came to check my cervix. I was at 8cm. She encouraged me and told me how wonderful I was doing. I asked if I could move to the birthing pool and she said sure. Although at this point my contractions were very intense, I still had 3-5 minutes between them. I got myself out of the bath tub and into the birthing pool with no problem. My next contraction in the birthing pool was intense. Sandy checked me, I was at 9.5cm, bag of waters was still intact, and I was having the urge to push where there's no stopping it. She matched the intensity of me trying not to push with prayer. She prayed for Jesus to open up my cervix the rest of the way, and in what seemed like seconds she checked me again and I was fully dilated. I love how God moved quickly! I started to push at 12:53am. Sandy only had me push while a contraction was happening and then I rested in between. I was able to feel the baby's head crown and even got to help bring babe onto my belly. On June 29, 2011 at 12:57am (yes, only 4 minutes of pushing) out came baby. I felt with my hand to discover the gender (keep in mind that I was feeling for girl parts). I felt the umbilical cord and then felt something else....what is that?.....I looked down and saw that it was a boy. I felt like the world stood still. I looked up at my sweet husband and said “It's a boy...” Hezekiah Reign was here, a word of promise. I still cry when I think of that moment. While I discovered the gender of my sweet boy, Sandy was praying over him and thanking Jesus for the beautiful birth. We just stared in amazement. I had hoped to breastfeed him within minutes of being born but we had to wait until the cord stopped pulsating and could be cut (his umbilical cord was super short). So I just snuggled him (and counted all his fingers and toes) and Sandy took his vitals. Everything was perfect, his apgar was 10/10, which Sandy said she rarely gives.

Phil cut the umbilical cord and then Sandy held him while I got out of the birth pool. I sat on a birth stool and finally got to breastfeed my sweet bundle. He was a pro from the first latch. It was a bit alarming for me when he first started to breastfeed because it felt like I was having contractions again. Sandy said “The uterus stretches like a rubberband, the more babies you have the harder it has to work to get back down to it's original size.” So yes, if you are having your second baby this is me giving you a heads up because I never got one. :) So I delivered the placenta, yes I just said the p word. It was really neat because normally the bag of waters folds up around the placenta but mine actually came out intact. Sandy held it up and I was able to see where my sweet boy had lived for the past 9 months. I thought it was incredible but of course I love the whole process of birth.

Hezekiah kept breastfeeding for awhile. A little while later Sandy assisted me into the herbal bath. At that time Phil was in our bedroom snuggling with his son. He was smitten, and still is. Eventually Daddy brought him in and Sandy held Kiah in the bath. Once he got used to it she handed him to me. It was so amazing. Here I had just given birth and I was being treated to the most glorious smelling and healing bath, I had my boy in there with me, and my bestfriend (Phil) brought me a fruit smoothie (for those wondering, no we didn't eat my placenta, it was just fruit. It's actually still in the freezer, we are hoping to plant it under a tree.)

After a little while Sandy got Hezekiah out of the tub for his newborn exam. Sandy performed the exam right next to the tub so I could watch. It was amazing and she told us everything she was doing. I felt so informed. He weighed 8lbs 1oz and was 20.5 inches long. Everything looked wonderful, we were so thankful, we still are. In my spirit I just kept saying “thank you God, thank you God...” After his exam, Auntie Liz dressed him (she loves dressing our kids so we thought it was fitting). I loved having her there, she was lots of fun and I think she put it best when she said, “I don't see what the big deal is, it's natural.” (when referring to how others had warned her about birth). That's completely what it was, beautifully natural. At no point did I feel scared or overwhelmed. I didn't have a single thought about the hospital or feeling of regret, I felt secure in what God had called us to do.

After my bath, Sandy helped me dry off. This was one of the moments that I felt so taken care of, she was truly Jesus in the flesh to me. After having a Midwife, I don't think I could ever go back (especially with someone as loving as Sandy). I put on Phil's Yellowstone tshirt, he brought me some peanut butter toast, and then we got into bed. Sandy explained to me how to massage my uterus before I got up and to make sure it was going back down to it's original size. At 4:00am Sandy and Liz both left, and we went to sleep in our comfy bed with our beautiful boy in the crook of Daddy's arm.

The next day Zemirah came home to meet Hezekiah. It was one of the best moments in my life. Lola and Liz had helped Zemi pick out the most cool dragonfly ever for Kiah. Lola and Liz told us that on the way home Zemirah kept saying “Kiah, toy” and was full of joy. When she got home she looked at him and kissed him some. Then in true toddler fashion, went about playing and having Lola read her 'Finding Nemo'. She really enjoyed Kiah's gift to her (Barrel of Monkeys). It was so fun to watch her, and continuing watching her, in the big sister role. She's the best big sister and truly Mama's little helper.

There are no words to describe the joy and how right it feels being a family of four. All thanks and glory goes to God. Truly every good gift is from above.

Here's my birth story in photos. They were taken by the amazing Elizabeth Danko. Enjoy!